Weathering the Holiday Blues

Written By Ethel Moran
snow lights Christmas

As we find ourselves amid the end-of-year holiday season, how are you feeling? Joyful? Tired? Anxious? Excited? Overwhelmed? Nostalgic? Sad? Numb? Whether you’re feeling all of the above, some of the above, or none of the above, know that your emotions are valid. Also know that if this time of year is particularly challenging for you, you are far from alone. Like many others, you may be experiencing the holiday blues.

A 2023 survey by the American Psychological Association (APA) reported that about nine in ten (89%) U.S. adults experience various forms of holiday-related stress between November and January. The most common source of stress was financial concerns about spending. While these results showed that households earning less than $50,000 annually experienced slightly higher holiday pressures than households earning upwards of $100,000, stress and depression during this time can affect individuals across all socioeconomic levels, as well as ages, genders, races, ethnicities, sexual orientations, and other demographic factors. Additional stressors included in the results were selecting the right gifts, missing loved ones, feeling pressure to make holidays special, having too much to do, anticipating family conflict, and feeling excluded. Individuals who partake in non-Christian holidays also reported stress and alienation as their traditions are not as widely represented in the mainstream season. 

Both personal circumstances and sociocultural factors can influence the holiday blues. The season may bring up feelings and experiences of grief, trauma, exhaustion, and burnout. Inability to spend time with loved ones or lack of connection to community can lead to loneliness and isolation. Conversely, overstimulation from gatherings, holiday obligations, social anxiety, and difficult family dynamics can take a mental and emotional toll. Additionally, the intensity of the season can exacerbate pre-existing mental health conditions.

Naturally, we cannot overlook the broader societal influences at play. Increased commercialization is rampant in the months of November and December, with consumerism often becoming synonymous with the holiday season. These pressures can manifest in various ways, from anxiety about affording gifts to the perfectionism trap of trying to please others. The anxiety of shopping in crowds, or the general “holiday hustle,” can also lead to fatigue. While there’s no shame in gift-giving traditions — which bring many people joy, connection, and happiness — it’s also important to recognize how cultural norms like these can affect one’s mental health. 

Another challenge of the holiday season centers on the buildup of expectations. The end of the season can prompt feelings of sadness and disappointment. Additionally, reflections on the past year can evoke a range of emotions. After the excitement of New Year’s Day, returning to everyday routines can feel anticlimactic. As a result, the holiday blues may linger as this adjustment takes place. 

woman comforting man

Because the holiday blues typically occur in the transition from fall to winter months, it’s easy to confuse this period of emotional turmoil with Major Depressive Disorder with a Seasonal Pattern, also known as Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD. While symptoms may appear alike, the duration and severity of such are what make holiday blues and SAD distinct from one another. Holiday blues usually start in November, peak during the holiday season in December, and end shortly after New Year’s Day. On the other hand, the more common winter-pattern form of SAD lasts several months, typically beginning in late fall or early winter and improving in spring and summer. Symptoms of SAD (which can present similarly in holiday blues) — including loss of interest in activities, difficulty concentrating, and changes in appetite and sleep patterns — tend to be more severe than the holiday blues. Check in with yourself — if you’re experiencing troubling symptoms, seek support from a mental health professional. 

Fortunately, there are many ways you can manage holiday stressors and make your days a little brighter. Creativity can be a great outlet for releasing painful emotions, whether through singing along to your favorite songs, doing crafts, dancing, or journaling. If you are feeling overstimulated, setting boundaries is important. Make time for solitude and peace, whether it’s through a puzzle, your favorite holiday movie, or a brief meditation in between events.

You can minimize stress by taking steps to manage your financial concerns. Create a budget and stick to it. Communicate expectations and limitations with loved ones if you can. Embrace homemade, thoughtful gifts like poems, framed photos, or a heartfelt card expressing your love and thanks. Make budget plans and lists to keep track of expenses. The amount of money you have or spend is not an indicator of your worth.

Reframe and validate your feelings. While it’s easier said than done, maintaining perspective can help you dismantle ideals and expectations of what a holiday “should be,” whatever narrative may be feeding you. Be gentle with yourself by offering kind affirmations. Try identifying and validating your feelings while also offering a statement of gratitude or self-acceptance. A simple statement like “While I acknowledge that I feel lonely and sad, I accept myself and love my kindness towards others” can make a difference.

If you are feeling lonely or isolated, look into options for connection, whether that’s spending time with a friend, meeting with a support group, or engaging with a spiritual or religious community. Like NYC’s free Thanksgiving turkey and meal offerings, there are also several free and low-cost events in December. Attending one may provide you with the opportunity to break free from your usual routine, form connections, enjoy a much-needed respite, and create new traditions. Check out these free events with links for more details:

candy cane heart

Take care of yourself, and have a good holiday, whatever that may mean for you. 

If you are struggling, connect with a trained counselor by calling or texting the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988. Text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.

Ethel Moran
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